


Adventures at the Opera

by Kaye_21



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Dinner, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Tuxedos, also, but it's more like Sonny/Plot Device, fear not, i won't even tag it it's so minor, oh and, post 17x09, sort of, there's Sonny/Original Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:52:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5308193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaye_21/pseuds/Kaye_21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carisi needs a favor. </p><p>Rafael is too curious for his own good.</p><p>Also, there are bow ties.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures at the Opera

“Counselor, could I have a minute?”

Rafael sighed as he looked up. Liv and Rollins had just left his office, and Rafael had foolishly assumed Carisi had left with them.

No such luck, apparently.

“What is it, Carisi?”

Carisi was fidgeting.

“Listen, I hope I’m not overstepping, but I need a favor.”

A favor? From Rafael?

Why on earth did Carisi think Rafael would want to do him a favor?

Rafael resolved to get even harsher with the detective. Rafael had let himself slip, had actually been nice to Carisi, during that whole shadowing debacle. He had even laughed at one of Carisi’s jokes, he had complimented Carisi on a job well done.

But that was the past.

It was time for them to go back to their previous dynamic; Rafael mocking and Carisi scoffing. Rafael had to restore the balance.

Except Rafael decided to restore the balance some other day, because he couldn’t deny being curious. What could Carisi possibly want?

“Okay, I’ll bite. What is it?”

Carisi started fiddling with that folder he had taken to carrying around ever since the Hodda trial.

Oh no.

Rafael tried to nip it in the bud.

“Let me state for the record that you shadowed me once, and that’s it. I hope you learned everything you needed to know. Don’t think you can make a habit out of following me around like a lost puppy.”

Rafael was done helping Carisi.

Sure, the experience hadn’t been entirely unpleasant. Carisi had even proved useful. He had put in long hours, he had helped Hector’s mother with her testimony, he had picked up on Hodda’s tell, he had been an amusing distraction whenever Rafael felt like screaming.

Still, like Rafael said, he had no intention of letting Carisi make a habit out of it.

Carisi chuckled awkwardly as he sat down.

“Nah, this isn’t about work. Thanks again, by the way. For letting me shadow you. It was awesome. But, no, this doesn’t have anything to do with work.”

A favor that had nothing to do with work? Now Rafael was even more curious.

“Spit it out, Carisi.”

Carisi looked nervous.

Carisi always looked nervous around Rafael. Carisi always found an excuse to touch Rafael, or he held eye contact with Rafael for a little too long, or he gave Rafael these random tiny smiles for no reason.

It was weird.

“Uh, listen, I was wondering if you could you help me pick out an outfit? ‘Cause I got a thing?”

Rafael’s eyebrows barely stayed attached to his face.

“You’re asking me for fashion tips?”

“Yes?”

Carisi was wincing and, frankly, he looked cuter than he had any right to be.

Rafael decided to be flattered instead of unsettled. This wasn’t that strange. Carisi’s style had improved in the past year or so, but he was still a novice when it came to fashion. It made sense that he’d still need some help with dressing for what Rafael assumed was some type of black tie event. And it also made sense that Carisi would turn to the most fashionable person he knew.

“Alright. What’s the occasion?”

“A date.”

Rafael inwardly facepalmed.

“A date? You may not have the best sense of style, Carisi, but I’m sure you don’t need my help to pick out an outfit for taking some co-ed from Fordham to a Chuck E. Cheese.”

Carisi laughed.

“Come on, counselor. I’m serious.”

Rafael narrowed his eyes. Was Carisi serious? What if he was? What if this was about something like a proposal? What if Carisi was planning a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant? For some sweet girl? What if Rafael found that strangely irksome?

“Okay. Where are you taking her?”

“Uh. I’m taking _him_ to the opera. He really likes it, apparently. And I don’t know the first thing about it, but I got what I’m told are pretty good tickets for, uh, Tosca, and I guess I’m supposed to wear a tux, ‘cause I want the evening to be as fancy as possible, but I’m not sure what to pick. I don’t wanna look stupid.”

Rafael tried to slowly process everything he had just heard.

“Well, you have your work cut out for you, detective.”

Fine, Rafael just had to throw in one more insult first.

Carisi rolled his eyes, and Rafael went back to processing.

Carisi was going on a date with a man. A man who liked the opera. And Carisi was willing to splurge on good tickets, and he was willing to be bored by a night at the opera, which he knew nothing about, just to spend some time with this man.

Rafael idly thought this man was lucky. He idly wished some of the men he dated were half as considerate as Carisi.

And then Rafael mentally cursed himself, for even comparing a lug like Carisi to the high-powered, successful and refined men he usually dated.

Still, Carisi was putting in the effort, and Rafael supposed he deserved a helping hand just for that.

“Alright. You’ve come to the right place.”

Carisi’s smile was blinding.

~ ~ ~

Carisi was not smiling the next time Rafael saw him.

It was almost a week later, and the precinct was almost empty, and Carisi was frowning over his desk, and he had a takeout bag next to him again, except this time the bag was smaller. It looked like it just contained his own dinner.

Probably.

It was hard to be sure, what with the amount of times Carisi brought people food, or even cooked for them, according to Liv. Rafael never could understand why Carisi always liked feeding everybody.

Carisi hadn’t noticed him yet.

Rafael thought that was probably for the best. He was fighting the urge to ask how Carisi’s date had gone. It was probably morbid curiosity, but he really wanted to hear all about Carisi’s Adventures at the Opera.

Still, Rafael was hesitant. Mostly, he was worried that he might give Carisi the wrong impression.

The impression that he actually gave a crap about Carisi’s personal life.

Before Rafael could decide, Carisi looked up and their eyes met. Carisi’s frown was even more intense when viewed head on. He was practically scowling.

Rafael decided to ask anyway.

Like he said. He was curious.

“Detective. Dining alone? No date tonight?”

“No. Not tonight. Or tomorrow night. Or ever again, probably.”

Rafael tried not to laugh.

He failed.

“Come on, counselor. I don’t need this. I just got dumped.”

Rafael schooled his features into an expression that hopefully showed the appropriate level of concern.

“Oh. That’s… That’s too bad. Let me state for the record that the style of tuxedo I recommended was a great choice for your body type, and I’m positive that it had nothing to do with you getting dumped.”

Carisi gave Rafael a small smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m not blaming you. It was my fault. Like always.”

Rafael found himself showing genuine concern, for a change. And he didn’t even have to try. Carisi was having quite the pity party, and Rafael found that surprising. Mostly because pity parties were Rafael’s favorite pastime, and that would mean he had something in common with Carisi.

“While I’m sure that’s true, detective, I fail to see what you may have done on a night out at the opera to cause a break up. What, did you fall asleep?”

Carisi smiled again, and this time his smile was wide.

Real.

That was more like it, thought Rafael.

For some reason.

“No. Look, it’s embarrassing. Just… Thanks for the help with the tux, okay? Let’s leave it at that.”

No way was Rafael going to let that drop.

“Embarrassing? Now you _have_ to tell me.”

Carisi grinned. It was funny how his expression could go from dejected to excited in a split second.

“Look, if you must know, I surprised him with the tickets. Turns out, it was a bad surprise. Turns out, he’s not even that into the opera. Turns out, he only said he was ‘cause he thought I’d never show an interest in the stuff. Turns out, he was hoping I’d take the hint that we weren’t compatible.

“Like that’s something people do. Like, I’m not into a guy, and I know he’s a cat person, so I get a dog to give him a hint. Like that makes sense. What the hell is that? Just tell me that you don’t want me. You know?”

Rafael stared.

And he also regretted asking.

“Uh. I don’t know, actually, but yes, I guess I can see what you’re saying.”

Carisi chuckled.

“Yeah, of course you don’t know. Who’d dump you?”

In the face of Carisi’s desolation, Rafael decided to be a little charitable. After all, Christmas was coming up.

“A lot of guys have dumped me, Carisi. If that makes you feel any better.”

Carisi’s eyes were suddenly very wide.

Had Rafael said ‘guys’? Instead of the usual, not to mention vague as hell, ‘people’?

Dammit.

Rafael tried to keep his irritation from becoming too obvious.

It didn’t work.

“Oh no, no, I’m not… I’m not reacting ‘cause you’re gay. Or bi? Uh, no, I’m just, a lot of guys have dumped you? _You?”_

Oh.

Rafael smirked.

“I mean, sure, you can be kind of a dick, but…”

And now Rafael was laughing, along with Carisi.

Rafael did wonder how Carisi was planning on finishing that sentence.

“But?”

Carisi stopped laughing.

“But… you’re, you know. You’re _you.”_

That wasn’t what Rafael expected to hear. He expected some more ass-kissing, perhaps. A few random compliments, like the ones Carisi usually threw his way. Not ‘you’re you’.

Rafael didn’t know what to make of ‘you’re you’.

“Well, at least nobody pretended they liked, I don’t know, _baseball_ so I’d dump them.”

“What, you don’t like baseball? For shame, counselor! You know, maybe you should date my ex. He hated baseball too. _That_ should have been my hint.”

Rafael found himself smiling. Carisi was kind of fun to be around. It had been a while since Rafael had spent any amount of time with someone who wasn’t as jaded as the rest of them.

“Going by what I know about your ex, which is that he lied about liking the opera and that he had the poor judgment to date you, I’m gonna have to pass.”

Carisi smiled back, but Rafael could tell that his words had stung a little. Maybe that joke had been a little too harsh. Especially right after Carisi had gotten dumped.

“Well, counselor, he also had the good sense to dump me, ‘cause he thinks I’m a dumbass, so you and he have at least one thing in common.”

Rafael frowned.

This was awkward.

“I don’t th…”

Carisi raised an eyebrow.

Rafael stopped speaking.

He felt strangely guilty. Carisi was a good guy. Annoying, and loud, and a little overeager, but a good guy. Rafael didn’t like thinking that he had contributed to Carisi’s misery in any way. Maybe he could do a little something to help cheer Carisi up.

“Forget about that guy, Carisi. It’s his loss. Now, you got enough in that bag for two?”

Carisi looked confused for a second.

“You wanna share dinner?”

Rafael shrugged. He had nothing better to do. He’d never admit that to Carisi, of course, but it was true.

Carisi smiled.

“Well, if dinner is what you’re after, counselor, this won’t do. This is an ‘I just got dumped and I don’t feel like eating’ portion. It’s barely enough for one person. Why don’t I… I mean, if you got nothing better to do…”

Oh.

Carisi was about to offer to take Rafael out to dinner. Frankly, that sounded pretty good. A restaurant dinner had to be better than sharing a tiny takeout bag.

“Why don’t I make you dinner? Over at my place? To thank you for the fashion tips?”

_Make._

Carisi wanted to _make_ him dinner.

And Carisi had phrased the invitation in a way which would make Rafael seem like an asshole for refusing.

Rafael shrugged again.

“According to Liv, you’re a good cook. Which I find very hard to believe. So why not? Show me what you got.”

Carisi gave Rafael another blinding smile.

“I’m not a good cook. I’m a _great_ cook. Come on.”

~ ~ ~

One delicious dinner and several glasses of wine later, Rafael found himself slightly tipsy and lounging on Carisi’s surprisingly comfortable couch.

Carisi was tipsy too, though in his case ‘slightly’ was probably an understatement.

Rafael tried not to find that adorable.

“Sorry if I weirded you out, when I asked for your help. With the tux. You’re just… I don’t know anybody else who knows anything about fashion, you know? How’d you…”

Carisi’s question randomly tapered off.

Rafael smirked and decided to answer anyway.

“I wasn’t always this stylish. There was a guy.”

Carisi grinned.

“Oh. Really? So there might be hope for me too?”

Rafael chuckled.

“Well, I was never as tragic as you are. I never had a moustache, for one. But I suppose there’s always room for improvement, even for you.”

Carisi laughed. At himself. He always took insults in stride. Rafael idly wished he was a little more like Carisi.

“So who was the guy?”

Carisi looked so unassuming as he asked. Rafael didn’t see any harm in sharing a few vague personal details.

“A classmate. At Harvard Law. I always had an eye for clothes, but I never had the money to properly indulge myself. And I never knew the intricacies, the rules, which buttons to button on a vest, etcetera. I just knew what looked good. He was rich, and he knew all about that, and he had suits that cost more than your apartment, and he taught me, I guess. He showed me the ropes.”

“Oh.”

“What about your guy, Carisi? The guy who dumped you? Who was he?”

“A classmate. At Fordham Law. And a total dickbag. We had been ‘hooking up for a couple of months’, his words, not mine. See, I thought we were dating. Crazy, right? ‘Cause, apparently, I’m not good enough for that. And it’s not like I was in love with the guy or anything, it was just dating, whatever, but it still stings hearing that, you know? And the worst part is, he only told me after I’d wasted all that money on a tux.”

Poor Carisi.

Was a thought Rafael would deny ever having.

“A good tux is never a waste of money, Carisi.”

“Yeah, well, I never even got to wear it.”

Rafael was confused.

“Wait, I thought you got dumped at the opera.”

“Nope. Never even got there. I called him, to let him know where we were going, so he wouldn’t show up for our date in jeans, or something, and he basically dumped me over the phone.”

Ouch.

“Kids these days.”

That was all Rafael could think to say.

“He’s not a kid. And neither am I. I just turned 32. And I’m still single. And Italian. My mom is getting palpitations every time we talk about how I haven’t given her grandkids yet and I’ll die alone.”

Apparently Rafael had more in common with Carisi than he would have thought.

Like semi-drunkenly lamenting his romantic woes and his mother’s incessant nagging.

“I’ve been there, detective. Hell, I live there. And I haven’t been 32 in a long while.”

Carisi smiled.

“Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?”

Indeed.

Rafael looked at Carisi, who was now half-slumped over the arm of the couch, his long body now a jumble of skinny arms and curled legs. He had taken off his tie while he cooked, saying “you’re not supposed to wear anything that dangles over a stovetop”, and he had rolled up his sleeves, too, and at some point he had undone a few buttons on his shirt, and…

And Carisi looked pretty good.

Rafael idly wondered how good Carisi would look in a tux.

“Why don’t you put on the tuxedo I picked for you?”

Carisi made a truly hilarious face.

“What? Now?”

“Yes. You said you never got to wear it. Except for the fitting, I imagine. So, wear it. I want to see if I made the right call.”

Carisi looked at Rafael like he was crazy.

Rafael supposed he sort of was. And he was tipsy, too. They both were.

That explained his desire to see Carisi in a tux.

Right?

“Come on, Carisi. I’m curious.”

Rafael was always curious.

Carisi narrowed his eyes, but he got up.

“Alright. I’ll… I’ll be right back.”

As Rafael waited, he took in Carisi’s living room. It was surprisingly neat, and nicely decorated, though it had a slight feminine touch, which Rafael took to mean that one or more of Carisi’s sisters had helped with the décor. There were a lot of books, and some DVDs, and what Rafael now realized was baseball regalia.

Carisi’s place was nice. Warm. Unassuming. Comfortable. Rafael idly thought it suited the detective perfectly.

A few minutes later, Carisi came out of his bedroom, looking uncharacteristically prim and proper.

Save for the fact he was in his socks.

And the fact his bow tie was undone.

“How do I look?”

He looked great.

Was a thought Rafael would deny ever having.

“You look great.”

Dammit.

He really did, though. His physique really brought out the lines of the tux. Carisi was all tall, and slender, with shoulders that were a little broader than Rafael had previously thought, and with nice, long legs that went on for days.

Rafael practically had to force himself to stop ogling Carisi. To look at Carisi in the eye.

“Like I told you, detective, the steel grey was the best option for you. It doesn’t look totally formal. You don’t look like you skipped out on your junior prom. And, well, you always look fantastic in a vest.”

Dammit.

Had Rafael really said that out loud?

He had.

Because Carisi was laughing. Either at what Rafael had said, or at Rafael’s stunned expression. Probably the latter.

“Why, thank you, counselor.”

And now Carisi was twirling.

Of course he was.

“It’s a good thing I never made it to the opera, though. About 10 minutes before I got dumped, I was still youtubing ‘how to tie a bow tie’. This fancy stuff, it isn’t really me, you know?”

“I never would have guessed, Carisi.”

Carisi snorted.

Carisi didn’t know that Rafael wasn’t being sarcastic. Watching Carisi all dressed up, in the low light, cheeks a little rosy from the wine, dimples appearing every few seconds with each little smile, hair a little messy, Rafael thought the detective looked right in his element. Even the undone bow tie added a certain je ne sais quoi.

Suddenly, that bow tie was all Rafael could focus on.

Suddenly, Rafael found himself standing up.

He didn’t question it. He just took a few steps toward Carisi, who actually took a step back.

Rafael smirked.

“Stay still. I’ll show you how to do the bow tie. For next time.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Rafael stepped even closer and he tugged at one end of the bow tie. This time Carisi stepped closer too. Carisi was so tall. So much taller than Rafael, even in just his socks.

“Watch my hands. This end here, it has to be longer.”

“Okay.”

“You pull it over the short end, and then you pull it out from underneath.”

“Okay.”

“You hold the short end up, where the bow will be, and then you take the long end, and you pull it down, over the middle. Like this.”

“Okay.”

“Are you actually getting any of this, Carisi, or are you just saying okay?”

“What? Yeah. Yeah. Don’t stop.”

Rafael’s hands stilled. He was sure Carisi hadn’t meant to sound so wanton. So debauched.

So turned on.

Rafael abruptly realized that his knuckles were grazing Carisi’s neck.

Rafael looked up from the half-done bow tie, and saw Carisi staring at him.

Carisi was flushed. This time, Rafael was pretty sure it wasn’t because of the wine.

The second their eyes met, Carisi looked away. He looked down, at Rafael’s hands, where he was supposed to be looking in the first place.

“I mean, you know. Go on. Finish the… the thing. The bow.”

Carisi was breathing heavily. Rafael could feel each exhale on his fingers.

Rafael tried to pretend that he wasn’t affected by Carisi’s warm breaths. He went back to the bow tie, unwilling to dwell on what any of this meant.

“Right. Uh. You fold the longer end, and you put it inside the… the loop, and… you…”

Rafael was surprised to realize that he had made a total mess of the bow. It was practically a giant tangled knot.

Dammit.

“Yeah, that’s not how you… That’s not supposed to happen. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Carisi was whispering now.

Rafael looked up again. Saw Carisi staring again.

This time, Carisi didn’t look away.

Rafael did.

Rafael looked down, and he slowly undid the knot. He laid the two ends of the bow tie on Carisi’s torso, smoothed them down, maybe stole a few touches in the process.

Rafael felt Carisi’s heart pounding under his palm.

Rafael’s fingers dug into Carisi’s chest before he knew what he was doing.

He just wanted to feel Carisi’s heartbeat. He wanted to feel Carisi’s heart, racing. For him.

“Counselor?”

Rafael didn’t look up. He didn’t let go of Carisi’s pec, either.

Rafael was surprised to realize that his heart was beating pretty fast, too.

Rafael felt Carisi’s hand on his jaw, lifting his head gently.

Rafael watched as Carisi licked his lips.

Rafael leaned in.

The doorbell.

The doorbell ruined everything.

No.

The doorbell brought Rafael back to his senses. As Carisi was stunned into immobility, Rafael stepped back and frantically looked around the living room, in search of his jacket, his coat.

This was crazy.

He hadn’t almost kissed Carisi.

He hadn’t.

He’d just had a moment of weakness. Carisi was a handsome guy, and he was nice, and they’d had a nice dinner, and they’d both had a few drinks. It was only natural. It didn’t mean anything.

As Rafael finally put on his coat and dared to look at Carisi again, he saw how wrong he was.

Carisi looked crestfallen.

Oh.

So, maybe this did mean something for Carisi.

Well. Rafael felt for the guy, he really did, but that wasn’t enough to jeopardize his sanity.

Because kissing Carisi would be crazy.

Right?

No matter how badly Rafael wanted to do it.

No matter how much Rafael wanted to kiss Carisi. To grab Carisi by his slim waist, to pull him closer, to plant one on him.

Rafael couldn’t do that.

Rafael could only stare at Carisi in silence.

The doorbell rang again and seemingly brought Carisi out of his stupor. He finally went to get the door, and Rafael followed, intending to slip out as quickly as possible.

Like a coward.

Carisi gave Rafael one last look as they both stood behind the door. Carisi looked upset. He looked more upset now than he had looked all night, when he was talking about getting dumped by his actual boyfriend.

Rafael told himself that Carisi was just having a hard time keeping his reactions in check because of the wine.

That still didn’t make Rafael feel any less guilty.

Probably because Rafael knew it wasn’t true.

“Okay. Goodnight counselor. I’m sorry.”

Rafael’s guilt went up to eleven.

Carisi opened the door before Rafael could say anything. Which was probably for the best.

As Rafael tried to exit, he came face to face with an unfamiliar man.

Ah. The boyfriend in question, Rafael supposed. Maybe Carisi’s night would have a happy ending, after all.

Rafael tried to pretend he was fine with that.

Rafael tried to pretend he wasn’t jealous.

Rafael tried to pretend that the sight of this very attractive younger man didn’t feel like a punch in the gut.

Rafael tried to pretend that he wasn’t one second away from slamming the door on the guy’s face, because he couldn’t stand the thought of this preppy little asshole getting to kiss Carisi. Not when Rafael himself hadn’t. Not when Rafael had chickened out.

Rafael tried to pretend that he was okay with this… what had Carisi called him? This _dickbag,_ getting to take Carisi’s tux off, slowly, piece by piece. The tux Rafael himself had picked.

Rafael tried to pretend that he didn’t mind the idea of this little prick, who had dumped Carisi over the phone, getting to touch Carisi, everywhere, getting to lie on top of Carisi, maybe on that comfy couch, the couch Rafael had just been sitting on, getting to feel Carisi’s hands on him, Carisi’s mouth, that mouth Rafael had often wondered about, had wondered if it was just good for talking, or…

No.

It was the wine.

It had to be.

Even though Rafael wasn’t that drunk.

Rafael wasn’t drunk at all.

“Hey ba… Wait, who’s this, Sonny?”

Carisi was clearly uncomfortable.

“It’s nobody.”

Rafael tried to pretend that didn’t sting. He tried to pretend he didn’t deserve it.

He tried to pretend that wasn’t true.

“I was just leaving. Excuse me.”

“Okay, but who are you?”

“He _said_ he was just leaving. And you’re leaving too. Come on. I can’t deal with this. Not tonight. Get outta here.”

Rafael stepped outside, but the little prick didn’t follow him.

Rafael decided not to go too far. He just took a few steps to the side, and waited. He knew he was intruding, but he wanted to see what would happen. He was curious.

That was Rafael’s excuse for everything.

The little prick took hold of Carisi’s undone bow tie. Rafael felt like slapping his grabby hands away. It was supposed to be Rafael holding that bow tie. Holding Carisi too, maybe.

“Whoa, are you wearing a tux, Sonny? It looks good on you.”

Carisi looked right at Rafael.

“Yeah, so I’m told.”

Rafael tried to pretend that didn’t sting either.

“I bet your tux would look even better on the floor.”

Rafael rolled his eyes at this pathetic line, and he was amused to see Carisi doing the same.

“Look, man, just… Get outta here. It’s done, we’re done, you said it.”

“No, Sonny, come on.”

“Just get out, okay? It’s been a long night.”

Carisi looked right at Rafael when he said that last part.

The little prick kept tugging at Carisi’s bow tie, even as Carisi kept batting his hands away. Rafael found himself actually getting tense.

“Naw, I didn’t say we were done, Sonny! I said we couldn’t date. But we can still have fun.”

Carisi shook his head. How many times had he heard that, Rafael wondered?

Too many, probably.

To his shame, Rafael could see that. He could see how someone might underestimate Carisi. How someone might think that Carisi was just a dumb kid, only good for mindless fun. How someone might think that Carisi was the kind of guy who was infuriatingly goofy, with a dopey smile that never seemed to fade.

The kind of guy who got excited when he got to sit in on a trial, like that was something special, like that wasn’t something people did every day. The kind of guy who cracked inappropriate jokes at all times, with no sense of decorum.

The kind of guy who asked a million annoying questions, because he wanted to learn. The kind of guy who tediously looked into every detail of every case, no matter how minute, because he just had to do his due diligence.

The kind of guy who was surprisingly gentle with the victims, and surprisingly devious with the suspects. The kind of guy who was working fulltime as an SVU detective while finishing a law degree.

The kind of guy who still found time to cook dinner for his colleagues on his nights off. The kind of guy who didn’t leave a friend’s bedside. The kind of guy who stood up for his family. The kind of guy who always knew when people were in agony. The kind of guy who always found something comforting to say. The kind of guy who was always taking care of people.

The kind of guy who had overcome all the mocking, and the ribbing, and had just put in the work until he had changed people’s idea of him. Until he had proven himself. Until he had made a place for himself. A home for himself.

The kind of guy who was endearingly goofy, with a kind smile that never seemed to fade.

Wait.

This wasn’t…

This wasn’t what Rafael had meant to think. He had only meant to feel pity for Carisi. Not…

Not this.

Rafael’s brain was betraying him, apparently.

Either that, or Rafael’s brain was telling him what an idiot he’d been, to ignore all of this. To ignore Carisi, for so long. Rafael’s brain was telling him what his body already knew.

“Come on, Sonny. Pretty please?”

Rafael abruptly came back to the relationship drama unfolding in front of him.

Carisi seemed embarrassed, probably because Rafael still hadn’t left. Because Rafael was still watching.

Rafael didn’t move an inch.

“Alright, you didn’t say we’re done. Fine. I’m saying it. We’re done. Goodnight. And, counselor, you can go too.”

“ _Counselor?_ Who the hell _is_ this guy, Sonny? And why is he looking at you like that? You two-timing me? With an old guy?“

Rafael would have gotten offended, but Carisi laughed.

Carisi laughed, and Rafael just felt relief, for some reason.

Maybe there was still time.

Rafael completely ignored the irritating, barely post pubescent dolt who was standing right next to him, and he focused on Carisi.

“Carisi, can I come back inside?”

Carisi was no longer laughing. He just looked done. With everything.

“Please?”

Carisi shook his head again.

“Yeah, this is way too much drama for me, counselor. Especially for one night. I’m just… I’ll just go to bed. Don’t worry about it.”

Carisi’s pathetic excuse of an ex-boyfriend seemed more confused than ever.

“Don’t worry about what? What’s goin-“

“Dude. Just leave.”

It appeared that Carisi’s exasperation could no longer be ignored. To his delight, Rafael watched as the little prick turned around, not without shooting one last confused look at Carisi, and got the hell out.

Finally.

Carisi exhaled deeply.

“Well, _that_ wasn’t embarrassing. Anyway. Thanks for sticking around, I guess. Goodnight.”

No.

Not yet.

“Wait. I never finished showing you how to tie that bow tie.”

Carisi smiled wearily as he tried to pull the door closed.

“Yeah. Some other time.”

“Wait.”

It was not lost on Rafael that he was doing the exact same thing that dolt had done. He was ignoring Carisi’s numerous pleas for him to leave. He knew this was wrong. But he couldn’t leave. He had to make things right.

“Like I said, counselor. Don’t worry about it. I read too much into the situation. It happens. I was probably projecting. I’ve had a thing for you, for a long time now. So I got the wrong idea. I’m sorry.”

That should have made Rafael feel better. Hearing Carisi admit that there was an attraction there. That there had been, ‘for a long time now’.

Except Rafael felt even worse. He didn’t know why Carisi kept apologizing.

“You didn’t get the wrong idea, Carisi. You know that.”

Rafael was sure of it. Carisi had seen him leaning in. Their lips had almost touched.

Carisi sighed. He looked tired. And very sober. Unnecessary drama would do that to you, Rafael supposed.

“I don’t know what else you want me to say. I get it. Maybe you are attracted to me. Maybe you were gonna kiss me, in the heat of the moment. But you were saved by the bell. You thought better of it, and you realized it was me you were about to kiss. And that’s crazy. I get it.”

Carisi did get it. He had pretty much described Rafael’s thought process to a T.

Except for the part where Rafael regretted ever pulling away.

“Let me take you to the opera. We’ll go together. You can wear your tux in public.”

Carisi’s expression softened. He smiled, probably at Rafael’s non sequitur.

“That’s nice of you to offer. I’ll think about it.”

“Say you’ll come.”

Rafael only realized how creepy that sounded after he’d said it.

How desperate.

Carisi seemed to feel the same.

“What are you doing, counselor? You’re trying to, what, soften the blow? ‘Cause you turned me down? Come on, we’re all adults here. It’s not a big deal. I’ll live.”

It was not lost on Rafael that Carisi was the only one actually behaving like an adult. Carisi was calm, and collected, and casual, and mature, and he deserved better than this mess.

Rafael, on the other hand, was agitated, and regretful, and irrationally possessive, and he was lingering outside Carisi’s apartment, not taking no for an answer, like some kind of stalker. They made teen romance movies based on such behavior.

Rafael needed to explain himself.

“That’s not what I’m doing, Carisi. I’m not trying to soften the blow. I’m trying to take it back.”

“Take what back?”

“Everything that happened after the doorbell rang.”

Carisi looked dubious.

Rafael needed to do a better job at explaining.

“I’m asking you out, detective. On a date. To the opera.”

Carisi scoffed in disbelief.

“Right. How drunk are you, exactly?”

“I’m not drunk. I just want to apologize.”

Carisi shook his head yet again.

“I told you, I’m a big boy. You don’t have to apologize for rejecting m–”

“I’m not. I’m apologizing for not kissing you. I wish I had. I’m sorry.”

Carisi’s jaw dropped.

“You wish you had kissed me?”

“Yes.”

Carisi stared.

“I was going to kiss you, Carisi. I wanted to. I still want to. There may have been a moment in-between, when I panicked. Because you’re you.”

‘You’re you’. Rafael finally understood what Carisi had meant by that. Some people, there was no other way to describe them.

“But then I realized that _you…_ That maybe you’re not so bad.”

“Be still my heart.”

Carisi was smirking. Rafael supposed he deserved that.

“Let me get this straight, counselor. You realized that I’m not so bad, what, sometime in the last 15 minutes?”

Rafael figured there was no point in lying.

“Yes. Or, at least, that’s when I admitted it to myself.”

“How come? Because some other guy showed up? Got you all jealous? Made you think about what you were missing out on? ‘Cause, I gotta say, that’s kinda shitty.”

Carisi was still the mature one, apparently. The one with the spine. The one who openly spoke his mind.

Rafael definitely deserved that, but Carisi also deserved to get the whole truth.

“I’m not going to deny that I was jealous of that little blowhard. But mostly I was just mad at myself for losing my nerve. For being a coward. Even before you opened the door, I wanted a do over. And that little twit, he just made me think about what _he_ was missing out on. I thought he was an idiot to dump you. To think you were only good for screwing around.”

“And you think I’m what? Husband material?”

Rafael let out a laugh.

Rafael admired the fact Carisi hadn’t lost his smirk, this entire time.

Rafael liked this side of Carisi. The teasing, the backbone. Rafael idly thought that there was a lot more to Carisi than he knew. Rafael idly hoped that he’d get to discover it.

“I think you’re a good guy, Carisi. A decent guy. I think that there aren’t a lot of you out there. And I think that I still want a do over.”

Somehow, Carisi looked satisfied with that answer.

“You do? You still want to kiss me? Right now?”

“Yes. Among other things.”

Carisi grinned.

“Yeah? Other things like what?”

Rafael tried to keep his answer casual. He wanted to make up for his earlier, desperate behavior.

“Other things. You know. Like take you to the opera.”

Carisi’s laughter warmed Rafael’s chest.

“Alright, counselor. I might as well get some mileage out of the tux. But you’ll have to tie my bow tie for me. You did a real crappy job trying to teach me. I got nothing.”

Rafael laughed too.

“Fair enough. Maybe I’ll even manage to tie it properly. Now, I’ll... I’m going to go, but I’ll call you. Sorry if I overstayed my welcome. Goodnight.”

Rafael turned to leave. Carisi had said yes. That was good enough for now. One step at a time.

“What about your kiss?”

Rafael turned back around.

Carisi was smirking again.

Rafael couldn’t believe his predicament. Here he was, well into his 40s, feeling excited about getting one single kiss. He hadn’t felt like that since middle school. Maybe Carisi would agree to hold hands too, if Rafael asked nicely.

“I didn’t want to be presumptuous, detective.”

Carisi kept smirking as he got out of his apartment, as he stepped closer.

Carisi was still in his socks. Rafael couldn’t help finding that endearing.

Rafael stayed completely still until Carisi finally stood in front of him. Rafael had messed things up the first time, he couldn’t risk another fiasco.

Carisi leaned down and pressed his lips gently against Rafael’s.

Rafael had barely closed his eyes, had barely begun to enjoy the feel of Carisi’s lips, when the detective pulled away.

It had only been a few seconds.

Rafael figured that Carisi probably wanted to tease him, to just give him a little peck and send him on his way.

Rafael supposed he deserved that too.

Except Carisi took one look at Rafael and he leaned back in.

This was no peck.

This was a real kiss.

Carisi took Rafael’s face in his hands. Kissed him again and again. Hard.

Rafael felt every touch of those fingertips, every brush of those lips, every slide of that tongue, he felt them deep in his gut.

Rafael reached for Carisi’s chest again, felt Carisi’s heart, felt it pounding.

Rafael’s heart was beating pretty fast, too.

Rafael kept kissing Carisi, more and more, until Carisi eventually pulled away.

Carisi’s lips looked even more tempting just after they had been kissed.

Carisi’s lips were forming another smirk.

Carisi had caught Rafael staring.

Rafael smirked back and took hold of Carisi’s bow tie again. He made quick work of tying it, deftly forming a perfect bow.

“There. See how easy it was?”

“Not really.”

Carisi was beaming.

Rafael didn’t think his own expression could ever match that level of giddiness, but he sure was trying.

Rafael looked at Carisi for one last time before the evening ended.

Rafael drank him in. With the bow tie all done, Carisi looked perfect.

“See? I did make the right call.”

Carisi’s expression got even fonder.

Carisi knew that Rafael wasn’t talking about the tux.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Carisi.”

Rafael had taken several steps when he heard the detective’s voice again.

“Counselor, wait.”

For one glorious moment, Rafael thought he might get invited back inside.

“Call me Sonny!”

Rafael could hear Carisi’s laughter, he could hear Sonny’s laughter, as the door finally slammed shut.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little one-off story I wrote because I wanted to dabble with a few changes in the characterization of Sonny and Rafael, as well as their dynamic. Sonny is a little sassier, and Rafael a little assier. The end result, of course, is the same. 
> 
> (Fluff. It's fluff.)


End file.
